Wednesday, Dec 19, 2018
Sponsored by: ||
Note: This article is more than 60 days old, and may contain outdated information, such as the dates and times of events. These dates and times may vary from year to year.
To: GOD From: THE DOG
Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beeper s, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.
4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.
9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".
11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.
12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
13. I will not throw up in the car.
14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.
16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.
And, finally, my last question...
Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
SYV-Online.COM, Published by Comware International Inc.
P.O. Box 410
Solvang, CA 93464
The phone number below is for news stories and feedback for THIS (syv-online.com) website. To reach one of our sponsors or an individual or company mentioned in an article,
please locate their website or click on their banner. Call their phone
number - NOT this one!|
For syv-online.com website feedback only:
Add Your URL: If
you're located in the Santa Ynez Valley, you may submit your URL for
addition to our links page by contacting our
Please list your company name, address, phone, e-mail, URL, and a
short description of your business/service in your correspondence.
© Copyright 1996 - 2014 Comware International, Inc.
Serving Solvang, Los Olivos, Santa Ynez, Buellton, Los Alamos, and
Comware International, Inc. - Solvang, California